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When we recognize our brokenness—and choose to move past it—we are able to put others first in the daily work of lasting relationship.
Read our credo
Where our brokenness can be seen as it is. Not as something to run from, or to give up on, but as a sacred opportunity for growth, forgiveness, and even deeper levels of intimacy with our partners.
We believe the next generation of men bear an essential responsibility in repairing and rebuilding the trust between men and women. As men, it is our obligation to take the first step toward this goal.
We seek to cast aside old and tired definitions of masculinity in favor of a new model of a healthy man. This model embraces a fresh understanding of strength: one rooted in emotional intelligence, mindful self-inquiry, and the ability to stand firmly in the virtue and value of the healthy masculine: provision and protection of the space needed for others to thrive.
Consumed by social media that validates our darkest suspicions about others, and ourselves, we’re rapidly losing the essential skills needed to thrive in relationships where we don’t always agree.
On the surface, everything about love should be easier than ever before. Through technology, we have access to infinite partners and potential connections. We can communicate with anyone in an instant. We have all the knowledge in the world at our fingertips. So why are so many people alone? And why are those that are still together so chronically dissatisfied?
The problem is we didn’t evolve to love in this way. Many of the prevailing technological and social trends have only made it harder for people to find true, durable companionship. The proliferation of dating apps, combined with a fixation on childhood trauma, attachment styles, love languages, toxic behavioral patterns, and other heady concepts have mostly served to just reinforce our own ideas of separateness and disconnection. Ironically, by obsessing over trauma we are quite literally imprisoning our adult selves in the traumatized reality we experienced as children.
These myriad forces have combined to shape a strange new reality. People have never felt more certain about what they need from a relationship yet more incapable of actually being in one. Our impulses to constantly analyze, critique, and judge, validated by the echo chambers of social media, have turned many of the normal shortcomings and dissatisfactions of relationships into red flags and deal breakers.
Then there is another portion of us so disenchanted by the malaise and defects of our parents’ broken and dysfunctional marriages that we’ve determined we would rather be alone, or explore some alternative model for love, than suffer through a relationship we feel is loveless, codependent, or abusive.
Although there seems to be so little we can agree on, each of us is bound together by a single human desire: we wish to love, and to be loved in return. We cannot give up on love because, as humans, we are incapable of not caring. This is the ember that can reignite our hearts at any time, and it can never be extinguished.
We cannot give up on love because, as humans, we are incapable of not caring. This is the ember that can reignite our hearts at any time, and it can never be extinguished.
BHBC is founded upon the idea that love is a choice we make every day. The challenges now may seem unique, but individuals and couples have pursued and struggled to find deep and lasting connection throughout human history. Engaging ourselves in the project of enduring love is the most noble affirmation of our own shared humanity, and stands alone in the pantheon of all human endeavor. BHBC exists as a resource for men to forge within themselves the patience, compassion, and resiliency needed to choose love above all else.
Throughout my life, I have been deeply affected by the transformative power of forgiveness. I have witnessed firsthand how this profound act can heal decades long wounds, stitch families back together, and breath new life into a dying relationship. There is seemingly no practical limit to what genuine forgiveness can restore within the human heart, if we remain open to it.
Like many of you, I have also experienced the agony and despair when forgiveness lay just beyond my grasp.
I’ve spent years of my life trudging along in the shadows of personal failure, carrying enormous burdens of shame and regret. I have pleaded endlessly for forgiveness from those I’d hurt and received only silence. I have withheld forgiveness myself in response to behavior I had deemed unforgivable. I have failed again and again to forgive.
To wrestle with the dueling forces of fear and love is central to the human experience. Yet, as we all have a tremendous power to fracture, to erode, to destroy, we have an even greater capability to repair, restore, and grow. To continuously train your heart on peoples’ better natures, to always move toward the love within, to forgive—this forms the bedrock of a virtuous life.
To continuously train your heart on peoples’ better natures, to always move toward the love within, to forgive—this forms the bedrock of a virtuous life.
I believe this is the moment for men to reclaim their virtue, to reestablish themselves in positions of trust and responsibility. To lead and to lift up with compassion. This opportunity is within all of us, and no past or personal difficulty can rob us of it.
I embark on this journey with you, in love.
We are committed to forging a new generation of men. Men who think deeply. Who feel deeply. Who love with their whole heart.
Many of us have been hurt, some badly. We carry these wounds not with shame or regret, but with honor and grace. They are the source of our inner strength.
Our grief provides the fertile ground for exploring our true nature, supporting our partners with compassion, and leading courageously in our families and communities.
Our struggles cultivate a forgiving spirit within. We learn to forgive ourselves, as we forgive others. Through forgiveness, we are free to move with purpose and passion. We can now do the work that must be done.
When the forces of fear, anger, and cynicism threaten to take hold, we are the ones standing in the way. Our hearts are trained on the best of people, on bigger possibilities and brighter futures.
We lay down our masks and lower our walls. We are no longer afraid to be as we truly are.
The guardians of the light.